MN Speak Dive Bar post

—[Shogun’s Log, supplemental: Rumors of a possible demise of the famed Garlic Roast Beef Sandwich, pride of Stan Mayslack himself, have been somewhat exaggerated (mostly by me.) The situation is nominal. Though a new Pot Roast of the week special may occasionally trump the roast beef offerings, there is little call to actually remove it from the menu.]

From my point of view, we are sure to see some interesting action. Imagine, if you will, The Modern representing the Romulan Star Empire, and Mayslack’s representing the Klingons. There is a great galactic war and the theatre of combat will be inside the stock pot. Perhaps an Iron Chef style “battle pot roast” would make for a great spectator sport. Oc course, watching a pot roast simmer for several hours might be a bit boring, especially since it is probably in an oven. Format needs tweaking… Hey, I know, it could go on concurrently with a Cricket Match! Yea, I have to much time on my hands.

Anyhow, It has been revealed that the new KM at ‘Slacks used to be the chef at the Sample Room. A breakfast menu is in the works. Hmmm yea. Now that I think if it, NE doesn’t really have a good breakfast hotspot. Nothing like Hell’s Kitchen, Victor’s, or the Sunnyside up at any rate. The one exception that comes to mind would be the the Modern.

I am really liking where that 13th and University area is going. Modern, 331, Erte, the revamped theatre, and now, around the corner, ’slacks is juicing things up a little. Perhaps this will increase the value of the somewhat nearby Shogun Manor?

My next question is this: What happens when the 22nd Avenue Station gets a chef?

-shogunmoon

Paradigm shift… Everyones favorite local Concierge was on chowhounds (1-3PM saturdays on 107.1FM) talking about the goings ons of Northeast Minneapolis, and revealed that among other things, Mayslacks has a new chef or something. Apparently, they are seriously considering getting rid of the venerable “famous garlic roast beef sandwich.” Is this true?!? If so, allow to indulge in some unwarranted speculation and reflection on this subject–

Personally, I think this would be an asinine idea.

I really enjoyed that sandwich when it used to be $4.25 (for the smaller one)– my wife and I would visit the place at least once a week for that and the rachel. Best cheap meal in town, period. Awesome shoestring fries, a pickle spear, and a little cup of slaw at $4.25, totally worth traveling miles for. Best deal in town possibly

Then, about six months ago, the jacked up the price of that sandwich. As of this print, the “mini” is gone, and they have a half sized sandwich exactly $1 dollar cheaper then the full size one, $8.99. They also did something really weird with the rachel, swapping out the sauerkraut for cole slaw!?! Told you… Weird. Also? Gross. For the record, you can just order a reuben and have them swap out the corned beef for turkey, but still. That used to be my wife’s favorite sandwich ever pretty much. Ah well. Now we hardly ever go.

(Ed- The The Rueben was reportedly completely off the menu as of Dec. 26, 2005. The website does not reflect this.)

Another change for the worst is the departure of the infamous ice filled urinal trough. Fans will be sorely disappointed to note that they have remodeled the bathrooms… Why God, Why?

Don’t get me wrong, I love the place. Sure, the roast beef was always sliced a bit thicker then I like, but it tasted pretty solid with the au jus and garlic dumped upon it. They even allow diners to swap out the fries for the sometimes awesome garlic mashed potatoes. Some of the other sandwiches they have are both decadent and wonderful. Check out the Mayslacks Supreme and Club Special, both of which have thankfully survived the menu modernizing journey thus far. Truly sinful sandwiches!

My .02¢? Keep the famous garlic roast beef, just make it better (or restore it to how Stan used to make it– that would certainly please may Dad.) Mayslack’s should not aspire to be the next, in the words of Girl Friday, “swan” bar. That worked for the 331 Club, but the 331 was a total dive. Mayslack’s is a), barely a true “dive” bar and b) literally has a worldwide reputation. Sure, Jetset it ain’t, but, to quote another local luminary, God Loves Ugly. Lord knows, I have encountered people from all over this fair state that have visited Minneapolis maybe 5 times, and yet know about slacks and the roast beef.

I just have a hard time seeing how ditching 50+ years of tradition in an attempt to modernize the menu. After all, the Modern Cafe still has the Pot Roast, and it is still excellent!

-shogunmoon

Had some lunch at the Modern the other day. My mental state was class A hung over, and I was already a good half an hour late for work. What better time to stop in for lunch and a little hair of the dog? Perusing the menu, I saw just the thing– Spaghetti Carbonara. Aaah, Carbonara. Delicious in it’s simplistic decadence. Nothing like the mixture of eggs, bacon fat, garlic, white wine, and parmesan tossed in fresh pasta, served piping hot. Makes for a fine breakfast, as well as a fun starter course at dinner parties.

Thing is, I make great Carbonara… decadent, smooth and luxurious. The trick, culled from those clever blokes over at Cooks Illustrated, is to make sure I have a warm bowl to serve the stuff in, as Carbonara has a half-life of about 1 minute before it starts to fade. Pre-warmed bowls give you a whopping 5 minutes of time to herd your tipsy guests to the table to enjoy this glorious ode to bacon fat. Put a serving bowl in the oven, or scoop the leftover water from the boiled pasta into the serving bowls, the choice is yours. But, less about me! Let’s talk about the Modern. Can this place manage a good pasta? Of course it can.

So, I order the pasta, coffee, and an Amstel Light. Soon the bread comes. Modern Cafe? You should know as well as anyone that cold butter pats DO NOT WORK. Do not refrigerate them! Anyhow, the bread was fine, but nothing I will gush about at great length. No big deal though. I mean, really? I am getting ready to eat a pasta dish cooked in bacon fat, so I sure as hell do not need the extra bread, if know know what the shogun is trying to lay down.

Good coffee though. I take mine black, (with a few ice cubes from the water glass, if you must know…) thusly I am usually able to tell if it is farmers brothers or not. In this case, the verdict is not. Not that I would have cared much… as long as the refills are free, I don’t give a damn about the coffee. Charge me for refills, and it damn well better have been delivered through the snow via bike or biodiesel van.

After some time spent holding the butter pats in my hands to warm them up so I could put them on my bread… ok, kidding. I did not really do that. Ahem.

The moment of truth comes… whose Carbonara will reign supreme? I am both pleased and ashamed to report that taking the first bite dispelled any notion of me having a superior Carbonara– but the Modern cheats! They add a little bit of chili to it, giving it a very mild but pleasant burn. Combined with the (believe it or not) tasty wheat pasta, cooked al dente, you get a real sassy take on this august Italian pantry staple. A generous portion of meaty bacon and mushrooms permeated the noodles. The whole thing was held together by parmesan, melted in, detectable only by taste. Magnifico!

Verdict– Phillip Becht: 01, Shogunmoon: 00

Ah well. I’ll get ‘em next time! It will be curtains for the Modern! Unless they remember to leave the butter pats out…

-shogunmoon

The Modern is apparently good enough for our illustrious Mayor and huge Pizza Man fan, R.T. Rybak. Yay
City Pages Blurb

Aol Cityguide thinger

So, is it possible to turn on any radio on any station in this fading republic and not here the word “torture” at least 15 times? I love and greatly appreciate that our nation is currently engaged in a discussion about how much torture is to much… but come on!

WHy do I bring this up? Well, I am mostly annoyed that the “liberal media” is no longer covering the WAR ON CHRISTMAS! Don’t they know that the freaking lefties are trying to destroy the very fabric of our nation?

Anyhow, I have a new bumper sticker idea:

STOP THE WAR ON TORTURE!!!

Yea, instapundit, beat that! Jerk.

-shogun decapitator

PS Yes, this is sarcasm

To the pair of very young “hipsters” that came in tonight and were told the kitchen was closed in ten minutes, but took fifteen minutes to order–

Fuck you.

Where is Bayless? I love me some Rick Bayless! It was the only mexican cooking show on TV. Sure, the guy seems high all the time, but who can blame him? He has like the prefect life. Going to mexico all the time, learning how to cook some of the most delicious food known to man. Maybe he is a liberal, the the right wing takeover of PBS and the CPB got to him? He does fraternize with foreigners, whom all right thinking people know are nothing more then border crossing mexican illegals… he must hate america!

Also, Mark Bittman deserves mention as another show not gracing my saturday mornings anymore. Dammit, doesn’t PBS realize that the saturday morning block of Bayless, Americas Test Kitchen, Lidia’s Family Table, and Tina Nordstrom and the ever goofy Bittman had more legitimate cooking instruction then an entire week of food network? Think about it. Have you ever seen a Vietnamese chef on Food TV, actually cooking something? Well, Bittman takes one on during one episode, and hilarity ensued.

Not that I am going to sit and rail on the Ray Ray network like everyone else does. Her perky and freakishly Kelly Rippa like persona does well with the format of 30 minute meals. Lotta people have never been taught anything at all, and her show is a great gateway drug to the wide world of cooking. I have to say I draw the line at this broad though.

Anyhow, instead of Bayless, we have Seasonings with Dede Wilson. Looks ok so far, as she has on the ex-head of CIA, Fritz Sonnenschmidt. He is apperently going to cook a goose. Not mexican, but promising. It is interesting to note that Wolfgang puck isn’t the only funny guy on TV that says wegie-tables. I suppose, showing the masses how to truss and roast a goose is hardly Sandra Lee fare. Not unlike watching Sara’s Secrets, with the guest chefs and all. Ok, no Bayless, but not bad. Shrug.

In the Bittman timeslot, we have a frenchie named Jacques Pepin, doing a show called Fast Food My Way. Seems like a good look into french cooking, using molds and rings and such for presentation. Pronounces vegetables funny as well, but not as funny as the germans. Cracks jokes, and makes “fast food” for sure, but with with some pretty good stuff, like a fresh salmon tartare… this can actually be made in about five minutes, and looks great. Man. Great looking chickpea ragout, and some scrumptious looking breaded pork scaloppine with mushroom sauce. Ok… this is a fine television program. Great for new cooks to see how easy it is to do a lot of high falutin french food. Hah! His pièce de résistance? He cut the foil of a wine bottle in such a way to hold the cork in a little ring. Nice.

Still PBS… we are in a FIGHT! BRING BACK BAYLESS!!!! Do NOT make me come over there. If you even think of touching American Test Kitchen, you WILL be destroyed.

That is all.

-shogunmoon

Cheap Date Idea Number 01 - Tiburon Happy Hour

Your intrepid amateur writer is going to start a new feature called Cheapdates for cheap skates. Why? Well, though I am not really much of a cheapskate, I am something of a bad budgeter. This means that yours truly is frequently in need of a beer and some din on the cheap. So, without further ado, I give you your first lesson on how to eat cheap, shogunstyle.

The first step in this endeavor is to find a good happy hour. At first glance, Tiburon is on shaky ground here, as their happy hour only runs till 6:30, and I personally consider happy hours shy of 7PM useless and not ideal for anyone who works til 5. However, Tiburon has some pretty good offerings, and besides, my co-workers picked the place. Who am I to turn down a happy hour? I just left work early so that I could get there in time for at least a few cold ones before the last happy call.

Oh yea, and the other reason I left early? Parking. As anyone who has attempted to go to Eli’s, Buca, or Espresso Royal near MCTC know, parking is absolutely brutal in that area. At around 5, the area is wide open. 5:30? Game over. You lose. So, make sure you get there as early as possible.

Anyhow, the Happy Hour. For cost analysis purposes, and am going to think of Figlio is the value leader in happy hours. $2 will get you anything on tap, mini pizzas (one of which is vegetarian), mini burgers or sloppy joe’s, and fries with gorgonzola on them. Who can beat that? Probably a lot of places, but still, makes a great bench mark. They DO have Two Hearted Ale on tap as well, so a fella can get his drunk on, a mini meal, and tip generously for $12 - $13 clams.

So, where does Tiburon compare? Definitely not as cheap, but much better variety overall. Vegetarians will certainly be a lot happier here, unless said carrot muncher has a penchant for pizza. They have a wide variety of items to nosh on, ranging from jerk chicken sandwiches to yucca fritters. They also offer $2.75 taps, $2 drinks, and some $4 fancy drinks as well.

Upon arrival, I ordered myself a beer and waited a while for my co-workers and wife. Christie, being smarter then the average bear, knew not to dally and arrived having located reasonable parking. The others, however, were no so fortunate. They did not arrive till nearly six.

After a look at the Happy menu, we ordered a lobster taco, pork quesadillas, (FYI, for whatever reason, quesadilla is NOT in the OS X spellcheck dictionary) a rum cured pork sandwich, calypso chicken wings, conch fritters, and some caribbean nachos. Also? More beer.

They bring out the food in a haphazard fashion, which is just fine for a happy hour feast. The nachos showed up first, and were, hmm. How shall I say this? Very much like what you would expect. A large portion of blue corn chips, chicken (they have vegetarian version as well), approximately 2 gallons of a soft mexi cheese, veggies, and some salsa. I liked the salsa. yum. (They would have been better without the chicken though. The meat tasted, as we sometimes say about old meat around shogun manor, sweaty.)

The Quesadilla? Skip it, or get the black bean version. the pork version was overburdened by a non specific mass of heavy but not especially flavorful meat. The chicken wings were not too shabby, though not hot or anything. They did sport a nice bright but savory caribbean flavor and came with a nice buttermilk dipping sauce– definitely solid for happy hour fare. Would I order them if I was ordering off the dinner menu whilst out on a romantic night on the town with the wife? Probably not. THen again, I rarely order chicken wings unless I am hanging out with the poppa, and we are at a bar out in the sticks. I heartily recommend the conch fritters. Simple, deep fried goodness served with grilled pineapple salsa and cilantro sabayon, you get a very positive bang for your buck in the flavor department. I don’t doubt that the yucca fritters are just as good!

The lobster taco is a blue corn shell loaded with a very fragrant mixture of lobster, roasted corn, and chipotle peppers. At happy hour, you get one with a side of quac and queso fresco. I really dug the bold and smokey juxtaposition of the supple roasted corn and the lobster meat. I recommend getting it to share if you are not the sort that digs a large quantity of lobster because of the richness. I will say this though, you get a pretty good deal with this one… fully stuffed and a cool way to get a little peek of what they serve the real guests.

The sandwiches are probably the best deal, happy hour wise. I have tried both the jerk chicken and the rum cured roast pork sandwich, and was quite pleased. These guys are a steal at happy hour! Though perhaps a bit more expensive then our benchmark figlio sandwiches, you get a hell of a lot more bang for your buck. The solid jerk chicken sandwich is sure to please if you, like me, cannot get enough of the deliciously tangy jamaican marinade. Even better is the cuban style roast pork sandwich. Tender pork on a soft bun with tetilla cheese, pickles, and some good old fashioned mustard. This sucker is a party in every bite, as you can imagine. The tender warm ham bonded to the tart crunchy pickle by way of the soft melted cheese, all anchored by the distinctively low brow hot dog mustard. Definitely a cousin of the infamous miami style smashed cuban sandwich. This, I will get again. Oh yea, both sandwiches comes with (what kind?) fries and a few sides sauces.

So, that settles that. Despite that fact that Tiburon ends its happy hours a half hour earlier then I like to see, they really do a solid job. Sure, I have nothing good to say about the quesadilla, but who cares about that? The sheer variety of good quality stuff available makes this a solid cheap date for a cheapskate.

-shogunmoon

http://www.tiburonbistro.com/

http://www.restroomratings.com/reviews/restroom68.htm

http://www.mplshappyhour.com/bars_detail.php?bar=323

http://www.thriftyhipster.com/minneapolis/downtown/tiburon/

The Shogun is tired tonight! Two nine hour shifts in a row will do that to a guy. I will rest well knowing that my omelet technique is improving rapidly. I have also managed to successfully cook eggs both poached and basted, and have learned the finer points of over easy and sunny-side up. Hopefully this guy or this guy, or hell, even this guy are reading this, and would like to see my resume! I would do a shift at any place with a creative chef for free, just to learn how they do it, whatever “it” might be. Believe me, I would be the one getting the good deal. Alas, I suspect I need a little more under my belt then skillfull hashbrown deployment to have some awesome chef inviting me in to work the line on a friday night.

Oh, hashbrowns. The Hashbrown technique is still a bit rough, though perhaps I am not entirely too blame. Our infernal grill has this rather unfortunate tendency to shut it self off… My friends, hashbrowns will only crisp properly under very hight heat and with a lot of oil. We have taken to checking the flames every time we get a ticket, because hashbrowns also take quite a while.

Yea, one of these days I am going to start my own cafe. Now, in addition to my good working knowledge of Southeast Asian, Mexican, Italian, and Modern American cooking styles, I can finally deliver you, dear reader, scrumptious egg dishes to your liking. Not that I would be all that likely to serve breakfast. No way the shogun is going to get up a 5 am for the privilege of cooking egg dishes for the masses.

Then again, the markup on breakfast food is insane. Hashbrowns? Think about that… all you need is a sack of spuds, a Robot Coupe with the shredder attachment, and about ten minutes. $2-4 clams for what amounts to 25 cents of product. And eggs… wow! The Sunnyside Up is getting probably $8 a pop for a three egg omelet with maybe a dollars worth of stuff inside… think about that!

Anyhow, that is all I got. Over and out.

-shogunmoon

It’s a mean kind of cold outside, and you know how that old saying goes, “When the temperature hits zero, it’s time to stuff yourself sick with Thai curry” So my pal Wally and I skipped our usual multi-pitcher fueled bimestrial reunion at the Muddy Pig to go warm up over some curry at True Thai in the Seward Neighborhood instead.

We arrived before the dinner rush at around 5:30, so it was nice and mellow. As far as the swank-o-meter goes, I would put it a couple notches below Chang Mai Thai or Tum Rup Thai, and maybe a couple notches above the hole-in-the-wall-yet-very-authentic places you can find nestled inbetween the many Vietnamese restaurants on Nicollet and University Avenues. If these references don’t mean anything to you, then I will just say that it is perfectly fine atmosphere for probably any occasion. It is the little black dress, or O-negative blood type of Atmospheres.

Anyway, we were both in kind of a “this is a school night and I recently had a hangover from hell” mode, and were specifically not drinking, but I had to have one Singha Beer, because I love saying “Singha Beer” ever since hearing “House of the Gods” by The Pogues. I am trying to branch out from the spring rolls that I normally order as starters at Thai restaurants, so we tried the fried purple yams for an appetizer. These were tasty in that kind of deep-fried way that things can be tasty, accompanied with a fishy sweet and sour sauce. I imagine them being served at some kind of exotic Thai street carnival in-between the umbrella painting and fruit carving stands. Purple yams don’t really taste any different to me then the usual yellowish variety, but they look way cooler. Kind of electric purple, like beets or grape popsicles.

I need to pause here to deliver a brief rant on how awesome our waitress was. Dara’s mostly glowing review from 2003 gave the service a bit of a dressing down. If our amazing deliverer-of-curries was representative of the overall wait staff, then they have definitely turned things around in that department. First of all, at the very start of our server-patron relationship, she asked if we were going to want separate checks!! We didn’t, but that is such a classy move. Then she was totally on point with refilling our rice platter throughout the meal, which is very important as rice is the delivery mechanism for curry. If the curry is the Gin, then the rice is the tonic, and it is important that you maintain the proper ratio. Not only did she keep the rice flowing, but she made sure to let us know that on the off chance the rice should run out before she was able to fill it again, it was perfectly acceptable to her if we were to go traipsing through the restaurant looking for her, demanding more. It was almost comical. And, then in the final act of classitude., Wally’s sunglasses drifted away from his personal space to the other side of the table, and she was all “Don’t forget your glasses” and picked them up, and placed them right in front of him. Like, “No one is forgetting anything on my watch!!!”, I saw her think. I don’t think Wally would have forgotten them, since he is not a space cookie like me, but still, awesome.

True Thai had some curry options that I hadn’t seen before. In addition to the usual quartet of red, yellow (Panang), green, and Masaman, they also had a Pineapple curry, two Varieties of Seafood Curry, and a spinach and roasted peanut option that is usually listed as a regular entrée at other Thai restaurants, but True Thai seems to think it belongs listed with the other curries. This is their right and I am in no position to argue; I just want it to be known that I pay attention to these things. I tried the pineapple curry with beef. I wish I would have gotten chicken or mock duck instead because the beef was kind of leathery, and that actually is more the rule then the exception in my experience with beef and curry, and my theory as to why this is, is that the beef sits in the curry for to long, and for it to turn out just right, they would need to put the beef in raw like they do for Pho Soup, and let the Curry cook the meet after the fact, but then they don’t feel comfortable doing that since it is raw meat and all…. Anyway, the curry itself was dynamite; sweet & velvety. Wally opted for the Masaman curry, which is a less spicy, kinder, gentler curry served with potatoes. I stealthily speared a giant potato chuck off of his plate to get a sense of it. Although, I prefer the spicier options, this would definitely be the way to go if you were recovering from an ulcer, or the like.

We packed ourselves so full that we had to go to the mall afterwards just to have a warm place to walk it off. The Rockstar bringer of curry brought us our check…and…fortune cookies. Fortune cookies are a Chinese tradition, and although I guess it is not all that surprising to be given them at an Asian-but-not-Chinese restaurant given the collective cultural ignorance of my countryfolk, and really, who cares; But I do cringe when I imagine the relentless parade of Joe 6-Packs demanding fortune cookies after their meal, and the moment the owner(s) decide it is just easier to give them out then constantly give impromptu geography lessons. So far, at least, thay have managed to keep Chow Mein off of the menu.

True Thai
2627 E. Franklin Ave., Minneapolis
612.375.9942
www.truethairestaurant.com

Got an email from someone over at the Bloated Belly, and it looks like a cool Minneapolis based food blog. Since us amateur food writers have to stick together, they get the plug:

http://bloatedbelly.typepad.com/the_bloated_belly/